MARRIAGE & THE
HOME

--Includes marital
relations & parental duties

1. Marriage:

A. God has ordained
& blessed marriage:

Gen.2:18 The Lord God said, It is not good that man
should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him

Pro.5:18  Be blessed: & rejoice with the wife
of thy youth

Pro.18:22                Whoso
findeth a wife findeth a good thing, & obtaineth favour of the Lord

Eccl.9:9a Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest
all the days of thy life...which He (God) hath given thee

Mat.19:4,5a            (God)
made them male & female...for this cause shall a man leave father &
mother, & cleave to his wife

B. Marriage is the
solution to many problems:

1Cor.7:2  To avoid fornication (sexual immorality),
let every man have his own wife, & every woman her...husband

1Cor.7:9  Let them marry: for it is better to marry
than to burn

1Tim.5:14               I
will that younger women marry, bear children, give none occasion to the
adversary to speak reproachfully

C. It gives
strength & companionship:

Gen.2:18 God said, It is not good that man should be
alone

Eccl.4:9-11             Two
are better than one...they have a good reward

1Pet.3:7  Heirs together of the grace of life

D. Marriage is a
commitment:

Ezk.16:8  I sware unto thee, & entered into a
covenant with thee ...& thou becamest mine

(See
also Hos.2:19,20)

2. A husband's
responsibility toward his wife:

A. The husband is
to tenderly love his wife:

Eph.5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also
loved the church, & gave Himself for it

Eph.5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own
bodies

Eph.5:33a               Let
every one of you...so love his wife even as himself

Col.3:19  Husbands, love your wives & be not
bitter against them

B. The husband is
to honour, praise & please his wife:

1Pet.3:7  Husbands, dwell with them according to
knowledge, giving honour unto the wife...the weaker vessel

Pro.31:28                Her
husband also (arises up), & he praiseth her

1Cor.7:33                He
that is married careth... how he may please his wife

C. He is to listen
to & heed his wife's wise counsel:

Judg.13:19-23        [Manoah's
wife wisely explained that there was no need to fear]

1Sam.25:9-33         [Abigail,
the wife of Nabal, wisely pacified David]

2Sam.20:1,2,7,13b-22            [Wise
woman of Abel "went unto all the people in her wisdom" & spared
her city from destruction]

2Ki.4:8-10               [Woman
of Shunem] said to her husband...[Elisha] is an holy man of God. Let us make
(him) a chamber

(See
also 2Sam.14:1-15; Dan.5:10-12; Mat.27:19.)

3. A wife's
attributes & responsibilities:

A. The Bible's
description of a virtuous wife:

Pro.11:16                A
gracious woman retaineth honour

Pro.12:4  A virtuous woman is a crown to her
husband

Pro.19:14b              A
prudent (wise, understanding) wife is from the Lord

Pro.31:10-12           Who
can find a virtuous woman? her price is far above rubies (See all of
Pro.31:10-31)

Pro.31:26                She
openeth her mouth with wisdom: & in her tongue is the law of kindness

1Tim.3:11               Their
wives (should) be grave (reverent), not slanderers

Tit.2:4     Teach the young women
to be sober (serious)

Tit.2:5a   To be discreet (wise),
chaste...good, obedient

B. Her duty to
guide the home & children:

1Tim.5:14               Marry,
bear children, guide the house

Psa.128:3                Thy
wife shall be as a fruitful vine

Pro.14:1a                Every
wise woman buildeth her house

Pro.31:27                She
looketh well to the ways of her household, & eateth not the bread of
idleness

1Tim.3:11               Even
so must their wives be...faithful in all things

Tit.2:4     Teach the young
women...to love their children

Tit.2:5a   To be...keepers at home
(homemakers)

C. Examples of how
wives should not be:

Pro.7:11  She is loud & stubborn, her feet
abide not in her house

1Tim.5:13               They
learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house...tattlers &
busybodies

D. Virtue is more
important than physical beauty:

Pro.11:22                As
a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without
discretion (good judgment)

Pro.31:30                Beauty
is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised

1Pet.3:3-5               Whose
adorning let it not be outward...(but) the ornament of a meek &
quiet spirit which is (very precious)

4. Duties of wives
toward their husbands:

A. To be a
companion:

Pro.31:11                The
heart of her husband doth safely trust in her

Mal.2:14b               She
(is) thy companion, & the wife of thy covenant

B. To love &
please their husbands:

Pro.31:12                She
will do him good & not evil all days of her life

1Cor.7:34b             She
that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her
husband

Tit.2:4     Teach the young women
to...love their husbands

C. To be subject
unto the husband:

1Cor.11:3                Know,
that...the head of the woman is the man

1Cor.11:8,9             Neither
was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man

Eph.5:33b               (Let)
the wife see that she reverence her husband

Col.3:18  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own
husbands, as it is fit in the Lord

(See
also Tit.2:5; 1Pet.3:1a .)

D. Submit out of
love for Jesus:

Eph.5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own
husbands, as unto the Lord

1Pet.3:1-6               Wives,
be in subjection to your own husbands [with]...a meek & quiet spirit...in
the sight of God

5. Spiritual
ministries not restricted to men:

A. Women's place in
spiritual ministries may equal or surpass men's:

Gal.3:28  There is neither male nor female: for ye
are all one in Christ Jesus

Rom.2:11                There
is no respect of persons with God

B. Women disciples
& leading workers of the early church:

Mk.16:9  [Mary Magdalene was honoured by being the
first person to see Jesus after His resurrection] (See also Lk.8: 1-3;
Jn.20:1-18.)

Jn.19:25  [When all His male followers--except
John--fled & hid, faithful women stayed with Jesus at His crucifixion] (See
also Mat.27:55,56)

Rom.16:1,2             I
commend to you Phebe...receive her in the Lord...assist her in whatsoever
business she hath need of you

Rom.16:3,4             Priscilla
& Aquila my helpers [Priscilla, the wife, was often respectfully mentioned first--Acts
18:2,18]

1Cor.16:16              Submit
yourselves unto...every one [women in cluded] that help eth w/ us, &
laboureth (Also 1Thes.5:12,13)

Phi.4:3a  Help those women which laboured with
me in the gospel

(See
also Rom.16:6,12a,13; 1Tim.5:1,2; 2Tim.4:21.)

C. Paul's personal
preferences were not intended to be taken as law:

1Cor.14:34,35         (Compare
with Joel 2:28; Acts 2:17.)

1Tim.2:12               (Compare
with 1Cor.7:6,12a,25)

D. Wives who were
honoured & exalted:

Judg.13:1-10          [Angel
appeared to Manoah's wife twice, later to him]

1Sam.25:38,39        [God
slew wicked Nabal, but honoured his wife, Abigail, by having her marry David,
future king of Israel]

2Ki.4:8-37               [The
"great woman of Shunem", not her husband, was the honoured one in
this story] (See also 2Ki.8:1-6)

Lk.1:26-35              [Archangel
Gabriel appeared to Mary first; three months later to Joseph--Lk.1:56;
Mat.1:18-21]

Lk.1:46-48              [Mary
prophesied:] All generations shall call me blessed

(See
also Judg.4:17-23; 5:24; 2Sam.20:1,2,7,13b-22.)

E. Women
prophetesses, anointed of the Spirit:

Exo.15:20,21           Miriam
the prophetess [sang a victory song]

Judg.5:1-31            [The
victory song of the prophetess Deborah, & Barak] Lk.1:39-55 [Elizabeth
& Mary, filled with the Spirit, prophesied]

Lk.2:36-38              Anna,
a prophetess... served God night & day

Acts
2:17               I
will pour out of My Spirit upon all flesh: your sons & your
daughters shall prophesy (See also Joel 2:28)

Acts
21:8,9            Philip...had
four daughters...which did prophesy

F. A woman who
judged & ruled God's people:

Judg.4:4 Deborah, a prophetess...judged Israel at that
time

Judg.5:6,7              The
inhabitants of the villages ceased...until Deborah arose...a mother in Israel
(See Judg.4:1-10,23,24)

6. Harmony &
marital peace:

A. Harmony is
important to a Christian marriage:

Col.2:2    Hearts...be comforted, being
knit together in love

1Tim.3:4,5              If
a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church
of God?

1Pet.3:7  Heirs together of the grace of
life; that your prayers be not hindered

1Pet.4:8  Have fervent charity (love) among
yourselves: for (love) shall cover the multitude of sins

(See
also Tit.2:5)

B. Arguments should
be avoided:

Pro.17:9  He that covereth (over) transgression
seeketh love

Pro.17:14                Leave
off contention, before it be meddled with

Pro.21:19                It
is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious & an angry
woman (See also Pro.25:24 )

Pro.27:15                A
continual dropping (dripping) in a very rainy day & a contentious woman are
alike (See also Pro.19:13b)

Phi.2:3    Let nothing be done through
strife

Col.3:13  Forbearing one another, & forgiving
one another, if any have a quarrel against any (See also 1Pet.3:9)

C. What marital
strife & disharmony does to the home:

Pro.14:1  Every wise woman buildeth her
house: but the foolish plucketh (pulls) it down (See also Pro.24:3)

7. Marriage &
lovemaking:

A. Sex in marriage
is pure, holy & ordained of God:

Heb.13:4a               Marriage
is honourable in all, & the bed undefiled

1Cor.7:28a              If
thou marry, thou hast not sinned (See also vs.36)

B. It was ordained
for the procreation of the race:

Gen.1:27,28            Male
& female created He them. And God blessed them, & God said unto them,
"Be fruitful, & multiply"

Mal.2:15 Did not He make (them) one? Wherefore one? That
He might seek a godly seed

(See
also Jer.29:6)

C. In marriage, man
& woman are joined as "one flesh":

Gen.2:23 (She) is now bone of my bones, & flesh of
my flesh

Mk.10:6-8               God
made them male & female...a man (shall) cleave to his wife; & they
shall be one flesh (See Gen.2:24)

1Cor.6:16b             Two,
saith He, shall be one flesh

Eph.5:31 A man...shall be joined unto his wife, &
they two shall be one flesh

D. Conjugal
pleasures a gift from God:

Pro.5:18  Let thy fountain be blessed with the wife
of thy youth

Pro.5:19  Let her breasts satisfy thee at all
times, & be thou ravished always with her love

Song
7:6-12           How
pleasant art thou, O love, for delights

(See
also Psa.19:5; Song 1:1,4,13; 2:3,6,16,17; 4:6,1016; 5:4,5; 8:3,14.)

E. Sex is a marital
right, not to be used to punish or reward:

1Cor.7:3  Let the husband render unto the wife due
benevolence: & likewise also the wife unto the husband

1Cor.7:4  The wife hath not [exclusive] power over
her body, but the husband [also]

1Cor.7:5  Defraud (deprive) ye not one the
other, except it be with (mutual) consent for a time

F. Husbands should
treat wives with honour & love, not merely as sexual objects:

1Thes.4:4,5            Possess
his vessel (wife) in...honour; not in the lust of concupisence (excessive
desire)

8. Marriage vs.
celibacy:

A. Those who forbid
marriage are in error:

1Tim.4:1-3a            Some
shall depart from the faith...forbidding to marry

B. Even priests,
bishops & church officials are advised to marry:

Ezk.44:21,22           [Priests
given specific instructions on how to marry]

Lev.21:10a,13        [Even
the high priest was instructed to marry]

Mat.8:14 [Even the apostle Peter, considered "the
first Pope" by some, was married] (See also 1Cor.9:5)

1Tim.3:2 A bishop then must be...the husband of one wife
(See also 1Tim.3:11,12)

C. Celibacy &
forbidding to marry can lead to problems:

Gen.2:18 God said, It is not good that the man
should be alone

1Cor.7:9  Let them marry: for it is bet ter to
marry than to burn

Rom.1:27                Men,
leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another

9. Divorce,
remarriage, marital infidelity & forgiveness:

(Regarding
the Scriptures on divorce, remarriage, infidelity & forgiveness, there are
such wide differences of opinion, interpretation & application between
leading Christian theologians & denominations today, the editors felt it
best to refrain from outlining them here in order to avoid appearing dogmatic
about such a sensitive & personal issue. Some churches believe that the New
Testament forbids divorce & remarriage in any form. Others feel that the
passages in question are to be applied as guidelines tempered with love, mercy,
understanding & judicial allowances. There are many sincere Christians on
both sides of the fence, so the editors felt that the task of doctrinally
defining this point was best left to the reader's personal faith &
conviction.--"Let every man be fully persuaded in his own
mind."--Rom.14:5b.)

10. Parental duties
towards their children:

A. Parents should
teach children in love:

Eph.6:4   Fathers, provoke not your children
to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture & admonition of the Lord

Col.3:21  Fathers, provoke not your children to
anger, lest they be discouraged

B. They should
teach them God's Word:

Deut.6:7 Thou shalt teach them (God's Words) diligently
unto thy children (See also Deut.4:9; 11:18,19.)

Deut.31:12,13        That
their children...may learn to fear the Lord

Psa.78:5  He commanded our fathers that they should
make them known to their children

Pro.22:6a                Train
up a child in the way he should go

Jn.21:15b                Feed
My lambs

C. The father
should provide their needs:

2Cor.12:14              The
children ought not to lay up (provide) for the parents, but the parents for the
children

1Tim.5:8 If any provide not for his...own house, he hath
denied the faith, & is worse than an infidel

(See
also Acts 20:35; Eph.4:28.)

D. The father
should govern his children with authority:

1Tim.3:4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his
children in subjection with all gravity (reverence)

1Tim.3:12b             Ruling
their children & their own houses well

E. Parents should
chastise children when necessary:

Pro.13:24                He
that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him
betimes (promptly)

Pro.19:18                Chasten
thy son while there is hope, & let not thy soul spare for his crying

(See
also Pro.22:15; Pro.23:13 .)

F. The bad fruit of
being an indulgent parent:

1Sam.3:13               His
sons made themselves vile, & he restrained them not

1Ki.1:1,5,6              His
father had not displeased him at any time...saying, "Why hast thou done
so?" (See also vs.16-21)

Pro.29:15b              A
child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame

Lk.15:12,13             [Father
of the prodigal son gave him his share, & the son then went off &
wasted it with riotous living]

G. The misguided
family structure of "permissive societies":

Isa.3:4,5  Children [will] be their princes, &
babes shall rule over them...child behave proudly against the ancient

Isa.3:12   Children are their oppressors,
& women rule over them

H. Beware of
partiality:

Gen.25:28               Isaac
loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison: but Rebekah loved Jacob (See
also Gen.27:6-17)

Gen.37:3,4              Israel
loved Joseph more than all his children...his brethren saw [it &] hated him
(Also Gen.48:21,22; 42:4.)

1Tim.5:21               Without
preferring one before another, doing nothing by partiality

I. Examples of
parental concern for children:

(See
Gen.37:14; 2Sam.18:29; Est.2:11.)

J. Examples of
motherly love:

(See
Gen.21:15,16; Exo.1:22 & 2:1,2 & Heb.11:23; 1Sam.1:22-28 & 2:18,19;
1Ki.3:23-27; 2Ki.4:17-20,27; Isa.49:15a; Mat.15:22-28; Jn.19:

17,18,25.)

K. Examples of
fatherly love:

(See
Gen.37:33-35; 2Sam.12:15-18; Mk.5:22,23; Lk.15:20-24.)

11. A word of
caution to parents:

A. Love & care
makes a true parent, not merely flesh parenthood:

1Ki.3:26,27             Her
(heart) yearned upon her son...Then the king answered...she is the
mother thereof

Est.2:7,20               [Esther's
uncle raised her as his own daughter]

(See
also Pro.29:21)

B. God blesses the
children of obedient, godly parents:

Deut.12:28             Observe...all
these Words...that it may go well with thee, & with thy children

Pro.20:7  The just man walketh in his integrity:
his children are blessed after him

(See
also Psa.144:12)

C. God may punish
parents by afflicting their children:

Exo.34:7b               Visiting
iniquity of the fathers upon the children (See also Exo.20:5; Num.14:18.)

Job
21:19                God
layeth up (the punishment of) his iniquity for his children

Jer.32:18 Thou...recompensest the iniquity of the fathers
into the bosom of their children after them

(See
also Num.14:33; Lev.26:39; 2Sam.12:13-18; 24:17; Isa.14:21)

D. Severe warning
against offending children's faith:

Mat.18:6 Whoso shall offend one of these little ones
which believe in Me, it were better...that a millstone

1Cor.8:9,11,12        When
ye...wound their weak conscience, ye sin against Christ (See also Rom.14:13-21)

12. The importance
of training your children right:

A. Children will
often be no better than their parents:

Ezk.16:44                As
is the mother, so is her daughter

B. Good influence
of parents:

1Ki.9:4    Walk before Me, as David thy
father walked, in integrity of heart, & in uprightness (See also 2Chr.17:3)

2Chr.26:4                He
did that which was right in the sight of the Lord...(as) his father...did (See
also 2Chr.20:32)

2Tim.1:5 The unfeigned faith that is in thee, which
dwelt first in thy grandmother...& thy mother

C. Evil influence
of parents:

1Ki.22:52                He
did evil...walked in way of his father...& mother

2Chr.22:3                His
mother was his counsellor to do wickedly

Jer.9:14   (They) have walked...after Baalim,
which their fathers taught them

(See
also Ezk.20:18; Amos 2:4; Mat.14:8.)

13. Parents as
"good shepherds":

A. Parental
responsibility to protect their children:

Exo.2:1,2 [Moses' mother defied Pharaoh & hid her
baby] (See also Heb.11:23)

2Ki.11:1-3               [Baby
Joash's aunt hid him from the wicked queen]

Mat.2:13-22           [Joseph
was warned of God to flee into Egypt with Mary & baby Jesus, & only to
return when it was safe]

B. Parents'
responsibility to defend their children:

Jn.10:11-13             The
good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep

Neh.4:14b              Remember
the Lord...& fight...for your sons & daughters

C. God will help
you:

Isa.49:24,25            I
will contend with him that contendeth with thee, & I will save thy children